FA deny 'vuvubongzela' left behind in England dressing room

Following the failure of England in the World Cup, FA bosses have rushed to deny reports of drug paraphenalia left in the dressing room after the ignominious defeat to Germany.

Stories are circulating that cleaners found a home made device that is thought to have been some kind of pipe for smoking cannabis.

An FA spokesman said: “There is no substance to the stories that a pipe, which some people have described as a vuvubongzela, was discovered in a player’s locker.”

“Neither is it true that an order went out for eleven deep dish Meat Feast pizzas at half time”.

The FA refuted all allegations that the national side may have played under the influence of illegal drugs, saying: “Even if they had each smoked an eighth of skunk they couldn’t have played as badly as they did against Germany.”