Seven Premiership footballers are to face FA disciplinary action after it was revealed they have placed large bets on the possibility of Jade Goody being resurrected on Easter Sunday.
“We have seen large amounts of money placed on the possibility of Jade rising from the dead and being proclaimed the new Saviour”, claimed FA spokesman Geoff Hartswood. “We suspect the players may have some inside information and we will be talking to her grieving husband and representatives from The Sunday Mirror regarding this matter”.
Having only last week dedicated twelve pages of coverage to Jade Goody’s funeral, rumours suggest that Mirror Group newspapers may have plotted an elaborate resurrection scam with Ms. Goody’s agent in order to boost flagging sales.
It is further rumoured that news of the resurrection leaked to members of the West Ham football team via Jade’s husband Jack Tweed, a big Hammers fan.
“We categorically deny all these accusations”, said a spokesman for the Sunday Mirror. “But make sure you buy this Sunday’s edition of the paper which includes vouchers for a free Jade Goody character Easter egg from Superdrug”. The paper will also feature a pull out poster of Jade on a crucifix which readers “can put in their front window and use to pray for a job”.