Refs Are Gonna Be All-Wright


Ian Hatches Plans For Ref Respect

Former Arsenal legend Ian Wright has come up with his own, revolutionary six point plan to protect referees from abuse by players and club officials.

1: Teams to be deducted some points.

2: Players will have their tongues cut out on signing professional forms.

3: Fourth Official to be issued with Taser to take down truculent managers, coaches and fans.

4: Referees will patrol the game in a jet pack, hovering several feet off the ground and wearing a thick glass dome on their heads.

5: Video technology to be used to implant horrific images into players’ brains. Players will see artificially created mental images of their home and belongings being repossessed as a result of bad gambling debts and poor financial investments.