The Smoking Boot

The stories that are so hot that we can’t even look at them without burning a hole in our foreheads…

  • Which under-fire Premier League manager has taken to whispering his team talks into his assistant’s ear before sitting back and watching as the hapless big-nosed sidekick then relays the instructions to the team via the medium of mime?
  • Which unfunny Scottish pundit bought the ‘tactics truck’ from ITV1’s ill-fated The Premiership and has adapted it into a mobile disco which he hires out for the secret woodland satanic rituals which are de rigeur among the top flight’s top earners?
  • Who’s the foreign import who’s actually an hermaphrodite and blames his complicated genital arrangement on a childhood experiment with hydrochloric acid?