England: Summer Fixtures Announced

With England out of the European Championships, the FA are pleased to announce TWO forthcoming tours that will be sure to please fans of the national game.

Brian Barwick briefly emerged from hiding to say, “We want England to face some stiff competition this summer and provide fans with the excitement they deserve. We feel these friendlies deliver just that.”

The tour will kick off on July 9th with seven days and nights of heavily sponsored confusion in Heathrow Airport’s Terminal Five.

Here are those key fixture dates for your diaries:

ENGLAND TOUR OF COSTA RICA

July 16th San Jose Taxi Drivers XI
July 18th Quepos Homos
July 19th FC Malaria

ENGLAND TOUR OF PAKISTAN

July 23rd Karachi Optical Services
July 25th Islamabad Assassins Under 17s