Fairytale Twist In U’s Move Story

Colchester United’s proposed move to their new Cuckoo Farm stadium is on hold again following the discovery of a hidden enclave which is the home to a magical litter of fairies.

Construction workers were first alerted by a trail of glitter running across the site – when they followed it and climbed up the inside of the trunk of an enchanted oak tree, it led to a scene which was  described by an environmental inspector as “delightful.”

Lawyers and armed wizards were moving on to the site as Sports Offensive went to press.