Al Can’t Wait To Get Cracking In The TV Kitchen

England legend Alan Shearer’s media career has taken a fresh turn with news that he is to host ‘Alan’s Happy Crack Kitchen’ on ITV2 this summer.

“The show sees me making my favourite recipes”, reveals the former Newcastle striker. “While I chop some red onions and peppers for a classic Spanish frittata, my guests will be offered fine, fine narcotics by my Dolly Dope Dealers. The challenge is for them to stay conscious until I’ve finished preparing the dish.”

The show will be broadcast in English, Geordie and Braille.