Iraq Info Man Set To Big Up Rams

Former Iraq Minister Of Information Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf (right) will be joining doomed Derby County as their new press officer in time for the start of next season.

He told reporters, “Following the rampaging successes of the past year, we cannot wait to further tighten our stranglehold on the sporting infidels of the west. Once more, the cups, goblets and treasures will mount up at the Park of Pride as others look on in awe and wonder. The tomb of Cristiano Ronaldo lives here. All he has to do is come and climb into it.”

He then made a throat-slitting sign as a team of US soldiers arrived and lifted him out of his swivel chair.