Spotted…

West Ham boss Alan Curbishley furtively unscrewing the wheel nuts on a 2008 Lexus, whispering “No-one ever leaves this club”…

Sticking chewing gum to the eyes of a disabled charity box mannequin, Chelsea wantaway Steve Sidwell

New QPR manager Iain Dowie (right), in the Hounslow branch of Debenhams, hiding amongst a rack of dressing gowns…

Bristol City talisman Lee Trundle, dancing a jig at the counter of Bath’s Cornish Pasty Shop and demanding “A big puffy cheesy slice, stuffed with mice and sprinkled with lice”…