Swans Lose Possession… Forever

Cash-strapped Swansea have had record signing Andy Bartram repossessed by the HSBC bank after they failed to keep up with repayments on the loan taken out to sign him.

The manager of the Swansea branch of the bank, Martin Dagger, said, “Their loss is the HSBC’s gain. He’s a big strong lad and we’ll be looking to beef him up a bit and enter him in regional strongman contests. Plus he’s got a bit of a resemblance to Ross Kemp so we’ll be aiming to exploit the lookalike market too.”

Bartram said, “It’s not ideal but I suppose this is the way football is these days, what with the credit crunch and that”, before kissing the embroidered HSBC badge on his freshly-starched shirt and preparing to cold-call thousands of people who aren’t interested in a fucking credit card.