Ince Still ‘The Guv’nor’

Paul Ince has wasted no time in letting Blackburn know he is in charge by nailing Brad Friedel under a carpet.

Ince has also showed his hand early by locking David Bentley in the boot of his car, giving Roque Santa Cruz a Chinese burn and threatening to set fire to Brett Emerton’s hair.

“I have to let the lads know who is in charge and I have to do it quick,” revealed Ince at an Ewood Park press conference yesterday. “If it means taking a shit in one of Steven Reid’s shoes, then so be it.”

Ince claims his shock tactics worked wonders at previous club MK Dons. “It’s my way of getting the respect of players. If you catch them unawares, they respond to you in a positive way.”

Matt Derbyshire agrees. “The gaffer knows what he’s doing. Yesterday he swallowed my house keys then changed my name by deed poll to Mattie Fucknuts.  He’s a real motivating force.”