Spurs Give Premier League Dossier Of Complaints

Spurs Chairman Daniel Levy has handed a thick file of complaints to the Premier league, who have admitted that there is very little they can do about his grievances.

Levy’s list of complaints includes:

  • “Why is there nothing  for men of my age to watch on TV anymore? I spend ages searching round the  EPG and it’s the same old crap every day. Who the bloody hell is Steve  Wilkos? As for Big Brother…it really is a big bag of soggy shit, isn’t it? And the example it sets to young people. I despair.”
  • “What’s up with the  weather? I bought a barbecue back in May from Homebase and it’s thick with rust. Is it too much to ask to have a proper summer?”
  • “Why is it that superstores – these hangars capable of dealing with several thousand  shoppers at the same time – why is it they employ less staff than my local  Chinese restaurant?”
  • “Gas and electricity  bills. I’ve just received my electricity bill and I nearly had a heart attack right there in the kitchen. It’s TWICE what it was last year. What is the Premier League going to do about that?!”

The Premier League have promised to look into Mr. Levy’s complaints but are worried they may not be able to resolve all his concerns, including the one about unreasonable charges made by ticket agencies when booking concert seats online.