Spurs Defend Portsmouth Invasion

Tottenham have revealed the reasons for launching their surprise raid on Portsmouth.

Chairman Daniel Levy: “As people know, last Thursday night between the hours of 2300 and 0400 Greenwich Mean Time, a band of Tottenham Hotspur players under the guidance of manager Harry Redknapp (above left) invaded the Fratton Park ground, securing a section of the turf and proclaiming it for the newly created Country of Hotspur.

“We believe the land of Fratton Park to be rich in natural minerals. Our scientists have drilled there and discovered deposits of both oil and gold”.  Mr. Levy believes the invasion of Portsmouth and taking possession of the oil deposits is the only way of securing his club’s financial future.

“We are struggling to maintain our foothold in the Premiership. Our resources are limited. By taking this land into our possession, I am sure we will be able to raise sufficient capital to buy a player at some point soon”.

While the owners of Fratton Park looked on, scratching their heads, Mr. Redknapp and his players erected a flag with the Tottenham emblem on it and then set about putting up  a six man tent with awning. “We’re not moving until we’ve got all the oil – and possibly Peter Crouch”, laughed the genial Spurs boss.