Terry TV Takes Off

Chelsea and England legend John Terry has launched his new independent television production company with a raft of commissions, including ‘Me And My Cyst‘.

Laying foundations for a career beyond football, the Chelsea hard man has been in discussions with TV execs at Channel 4 and Channel Five about his ideas. “Footballers have a lot of spare time and I like to spend mine thinking of formats for television shows. I mentioned a couple to Ashley and Cheryl Cole and they thought they were genius”.

Kicking off with ‘Me And My Cyst‘, commissioned by Five, a facially disfigured teenager from South London will learn to make the most of his disability by getting lessons in ventriloquism. The teenager will then be given a spot on the Royal Variety Show where he introduces his cyst as a comedy character called Sidney.

Terry is also deep in discussions with Channel 4 to produce ‘Hannibal’s Alpine Piss Journey‘, in which Ashley and Cheryl Cole trace the steps of Hannibal’s elephant trek across the Alps using two elephants that have to carry an increasingly heavy cargo of celebrity urine. “The piss idea was Ashley’s”, revealed Terry.