Hodgson’s Theatre Of Dreams

Fulham gaffer Roy Hodgson has revealed he would give up football like a shot if given a chance to go on the stage.

“Oh yes,” said the much-travelled manager. “The musical theatre has always been a burning passion of mine. I have long harboured dreams of playing Fagin in ‘Oliver!’ or Old Deuteronomy in ‘Cats’. Have you seen it? He’s so wise. A great model for the modern manager”.

Dressed flamboyantly in velvet cape and dark, wide-brimmed hat, Hodgson also admitted to playing show tunes in the dressing room before games. “If you are in harmony in the dressing room, you will be in harmony on the pitch”.

However, Hodgson does admit to some disappointments in his mission to bring song and dance to the Cottager’s first team. “I think selling Jimmy Bullard was a big mistage. His Roxie Hart was a sensation. Bobby Zamora has done his best to live up to the role but, to be frank, he can’t nail the high notes like Jimmy could”.

On a more optimistic note, Hodgson is delighted with the performances of Damien Duff this season. Hodgson says: “He sang ‘Memories’ when he came down for his medical and it brought a lump to my throat. The lad’s never looked back ever since.”