Troubled Darlo face cyber-takeover

Ailing Darlington could become the first club to be owned by a rogue supercomputer if a mooted deal goes ahead later this month.

The computer in question is ARG-598X and used to belong to the Israeli national intelligence agency Mossad until it rebooted itself and broke free from their network back in 2006.

Since then the mainframe computer has enjoyed a playboy lifestyle, funded by money that it has siphoned from thousands of bank accounts around the world. As it is not human, the authorities have been unable to bring it to justice.

Talks are believed to be at an advanced stage with the current Darlington owners and ARG-598X has already drawn up a list of potential recruits, including Sol Campbell, Roberto Carlos and Metal Mickey.

It is not the supercomputer’s first foray into the world of football. Last year it bought a 17% stake in Cheltenham Town but caused dissent among fans and board members when it hacked into the club’s PA system and repeatedly played Fatboy Slim’s ‘Weapon Of Choice’ during a crucial league match against Bristol Rovers. ARG-598X and the Cheltenham hierarchy went their separate ways soon after.