Cross-dressing Capello: 'Fab is short for Fabulous'

In a bizarre press conference held yesterday, Fabio Capello revealed he has been leading a secret double life as a transvestite chanteuse.

Before a shocked gathering of journalists, Capello introduced himself in full costume as “Carmen La Capella – A Different Kind Of Fella.”

Parading in bright red velvet gown, ripped fishnet tights and knee-length boots, Capello described himself as: “…a simple man who likes to take his mind off the pressures of football by throwing on a dress and singing Victorian music hall songs in the guise of a sexy woman”.

Capello said that he planned to entertain his squad after each game with a rousing selection of ditties he has composed. “I have always had a passion to dress as a woman”, stated Capello. “Also, I have a terrific upper register. My voice is like that of a nightingale”.

Capello then launched into a short selection of songs, accompanied on accordion by his assistant, Franco Baldini. Some of the melodies performed for the press included ‘Cesc, Cesc, Show Us Your Vest’, ‘Silva Slipped On The Soap In The Shower’ and ‘Let’s Get Messi On Me Mattress’.


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