Hail Charlie – Bury’s new balloon supremacist

Bury fans are unsure about a proposed takeover of the club which is being led by a racially-dubious balloon man who goes only by the name of ‘Charlie’.

In a press release, Charlie has stated that his anonymous consortium plan to overhaul Gigg Lane, pump £15 million into player recruitment and aim to be in the Premiership by 2014.

Fans representative Andy Mogg said, “It sounds great, but I’m concerned about the other non-football promises he’s made, like the setting up of an independent negro balloon-man state and the ritual slaughtering of helium balloons with children’s characters on them. I’m all for success but not if it comes at a price”.

Charlie was unavailable for comment as we went to press as he was rehearsing a one-man show celebrating the life and work of Robert Mugabe.


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