It’s Mum and Dad mayhem in kiddie-league Britain

The FA are trying to persuade parents of young players to calm down on the touchlines of their kids’ matches, but it’s obviously not working.

Here are some of the more shocking incidents which all took place at the under-9’s level of the game over the past season …

  • A furious mum had to be drugged by paramedics after she started foaming at the mouth after her son was tackled from behind. She was later sectioned.
  • An enraged dad buried himself alive on the touchline as a protest after his son was denied a penalty.
  • A fight broke out between 18 parents of players on two different teams. In the end, the brawl spilled over on to the pitch, with the kids moving to the touchline to encourage their parents. This then led to another mass brawl.
  • A gang of parents stormed the pitch inside a massive Chinese dragon (above) and chased the referee all the way back to his car after a row over a foul throw.
  • The Albanian mafia were spotted casually handing out leaflets offering to act as agents for up-and-coming young players along with bespoke match-fixing and referee assassination services.