Hire me

salad face close upHello. If you’re in need of the skills of someone who might describe himself as a ‘social media ninja’ if he was a blethering idiot, then I might just be what you’re looking for.

I’m not a ninja, I’m just a standard human, one with an unerring ability to create succinct, engaging, entertaining content for Facebook, Twitter or wherever else it is needed.

For the past year, I’ve been putting words into the woollen mouth of Monkey, writing the content for the PG tips Facebook page in association with Mother London and We Are Social, and attracting 300,000 friends to the page. I’ve also written some content for HP Sauce, KitKat and T-Mobile in recent months.

I know how Twitter works as well, and I run the Twitter feed for @thesundaypeople on weekdays, breaking the latest news stories and then making jokes about them. I am also currently running the Daily Mirror’s @madeuthink Twitter account, as part of their rebrand marketing campaign. Some of my evenings are filled with livetweeting crap TV for the amusement of thousands for @thesundaypeople and @zeebox.

In addition to that, I’m a columnist for the Daily Mirror website, providing topical opinion pieces on news, culture and sport as well as a regular liveblog of Match Of The Day.

My personal account, @profanityswan, has a reasonably-tasty 13,000 followers and I also created the controversial-but-popular @DianaInHeaven, putting the People’s Princess in the hereafter and tweeting her experiences among the showbiz dead. Although currently dormant, Diana has almost 60,000 followers and was chosen as one of Time Magazine’s 140 Best Twitter Feeds of 2011.

In short, I am available for any project that requires finely-honed words and ideas. Email me to find out more.

Goodbye.



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